Nov 30, 2009

terkapai - kapai kelemasan


1

"untung kau. ramai orang syg kau. kan? ramai org tak hargai kau,
tp ramai jgk yg syg. patah tumbuh hilang berganti"

aku tersenyum. kelat bercampur baur dgn bersyukur. tp jawapanku.

"aku bersyukur. namun, sygnya. aku tak mampu. aku tak mampu nak puaskan hati semua orang. aku tak mampu nak sayang semua org seperti mana yang mereka harapkan atau jangkakan. aku tak mampu untuk sentiasa menggembirakan hati mereka."

"kadang aku rasa bersalah, kerana aku menjadi diri aku. tapi mereka yang terlalu menyayangi aku sentiasa mengharapkan tumpuan dan ingatan yang 'selalu ada'. mungkin mereka tak begitu mengenali aku, duniaku, hatiku, caraku. aku tak pernah lupa mereka sesaat tapi untuk selalu menyayangi mereka sebagaimana mereka menyayangi aku, adalah tak termampu. kerana aku masih belum menyayangi diri aku sendiri. masakan aku dapat menyayangi org lain"

hatiku berkata. syukur dgn cinta yang diperolehi, tapi kadang, ia tak mudah. untuk menjaga hati semua pihak. memberikan masa yang terhad itu untuk sebaiknya. maafkan aku. maafkan juga kerana caraku, mungkin berbeda dgn kalian.


2

"cemburu tandanya sayang. ambil berat tandanya cinta"

aku tahu. aku tunduk dan mengangguk. syukur lg dgn rahmat Illahi.

"tapi. aku juga punyai tabiat buruk. yang sememangnya, fitrah aku. jangan terlalu menyayangi, jgn terlalu mengambil berat, atau terlalu cemburu. aku rimas. aku suka disayangi. tapi, aku juga sukakan kebebasan aku. banyak benda dan pihak perlu aku utamakan juga. bukan tak menghargai, tapi biarlah berpada - pada."

aku diam. lantas aku teringat pesan nenek.

"sayang biar berpada - pada. benci biar beringat - ingat. kelak khuatir, yg disayangi menjadi benci sebencinya sehingga wujud dendam kelumat. kelak yg dibenci menjadi yg disygi dan dipuja - puja seperti dewa"

aku termenung. aku sgt tidak gemar membenci. dan aku tidak mahu dibenci.


3.

"bukan salah kau. salah aku juga. salah mereka juga"

aku berjalan perlahan. dan berhenti. benar. apa - apa pun tak boleh salahkan satu pihak. mesti semua pihak terlibat ada salahnya. tapi, mudah saja.

"pernah kau hayati lirik lagu akon - sorry, blame it on me? kau hayati. mungkin, bila terjadi apa - apa, kau marah, kau salahkan semua orang, tapi, kau pernah cermin diri? pensyarah aku pernah kata, berhenti salahkan orang atau faktor sekeliling. belajar salahkan diri sendiri dan perbaiki apa yang patut."

"semua pilihan di tangan aku. segala perkara yang terjadi, atas pilihan aku. apa yang aku pilih. risiko yang aku ambil. inilah ragam manusia. aku jua manusia. aku sedar, semua yang buruk itu dari aku. mungkin ada salah orang lain juga, tapi biarlah mereka. dikurniakan akal fikiran, diberi kurniaan seketul daging yang bernama 'hati'. sepatutnya tahu kelak, yang benar itu sentiasa menang."


4.

"kenapa kau tinggalkan orang yang kau sayang, dan akhirnya kau yang terluka?
kenapa lepaskan mereka kalau kau tak merelakan?"

hatiku tercarik. kenangan mula datang satu - persatu. namun, ah, pedulikan yang pahit. aku telan yang manis belaka.

"aku sayang mereka. tapi mereka sayang org lain. mereka terluka kerana terpaksa melukakan hati aku. aku terluka melihat mereka terluka kerana melukakan hati aku. aku sayang. tapi itu bukan hak aku. aku harus lepaskan. mungkin, ada di antara mereka hak aku, tapi mungkin belum tiba masanya. biarlah, Allah lebih tahu."

"aku lepaskan. tapi hati aku, tiap saat merindu. bertahun, jauh di mata tapi dekat di hati. aku doakan yang terbaik. merisik khabar melalu org lain, melalui cara lain. biarlah mereka tak nampak, tapi tuhan nampak. tatkala air mata menemani aku, biarlah mereka tertawa gembira. tatkala aku diselimuti sepi, biarlah mereka ditemani yang tersayang."

"hati aku menjadi keping - keping melepaskan mereka. bila akan bercantum? mudah. ucapan "hi" sudah buat hatiku bercantum. namun, sudah menjadi adat, sewaktu ia mula bercantum satu - persatu, akhirnya berkecai semula. kelebihan dan kelemahan juga bg aku, mudah mempercayai dan menyayangi"


5.

"kau buat juga perkara bodoh. mengapa?"

aku akui. terlalu banyak perkara bodoh yang aku lakukan. hendak ku kesal pun tiada guna. sebab aku tahu kesalahanku itu adalah perkara terbaik yang aku buat, untuk menjadikan aku lebih kepada seorang manusia.

"aku dulu terlalu banyak dosa dan kesalahan. masih lagi sekarang. cuma mungkin kini aku bertambah matang, dan punyai kesedaran. tapi, benar, aku bukan sekuat dan setabah orang lain yang mungkin boleh bertahan dari sifat amarah, negatif, 24jam sehari semalam, sepanjang masa. aku bukan sempurna itu. ada masanya dalam jihad aku ini, aku tewas. walaupun mungkin seminit dua, tapi kesan kekalahanku itu, benar membodohkan diri aku sendiri"

"jangan kau harapkan aku sentiasa kuat. jangan kau harapkan aku tidak membuat kesalahan. tolonglah. aku bukan bidadari mahupun malaikat. tolong. tipulah kalau kau jauh lebih kuat. boleh kau hidup tanpa memaki, sumpah seranah, tanpa berasa marah langsung, tanpa berasa sedih langsung. boleh? maka. jangan terlalu menunding jari kepadaku. aku masih mencuba, korbankan kepentingan diri dan sentiasa kuatkan semangat, iman, hatiku."



Nov 28, 2009

the simplest eid, kot?


so, ppl, how's ya eidul adha? it must be great aite... suddenly, i've got a new experienced in my life. (cam gempak sgt je bunyik..) for the 1st time in my life, i ate nothing connected with hari raya, yesterday. well, my day begun at 6, with solat subuh. and, i called mama, to wish happy eid. and then i slept at 8am, and, woke up at 940am, only, because, a friend called me. pot pet for a couple of minutes, and then... i went to kma's room to wake her up. and, since, they were only 2 of us, we decided to go to JJ for FOODDD ppl. naaaa... we aren't invited to any open house(s), so, beginilah nasib~~~ haha... eh no, kma's friend, yana, did invite us to her house but, segan la.

so, we both sitting at the sofa, in front of the tv and... wonder. what r we going 2 do. we both then prepared ourself with kebaya + jeans and it was almost 1230 pm by that time. and... it was my first time wearing mascara + blusher on my cheek. like seriously~ and it was only with one purposed - try in error + just for fun. i make it simple and not bad, i did it well and still looks natural. thee. so... kma's friend, yana, fetched us and, 1st place was... mc d! oh yeah. i was hungry and so, i ate prosperity beef around 1pm. puas hati! black pepper!

black pepper! i can't resist u. ilysm!


and so, we went straight to the garden, mid valley. and yes, i walked with heels! =P
no worries, no terkehel, termelecet (well, almost =P), and no ter-pe-le-ot.

as we arrived there, we went straight to isetan and straight to burberry. whoaaa.
i know that the standard tshirt price was about RM 400 - RM 500. but, i never expected that
all the handbags cost about thousand~ hell yeah it was so simple and super duper expensive!
the watch was, about RM1000 and above. whoaaaaaaaaaaaa. as for me, that is over-expensive.

sis yana's watch. and it was RM1000++


and lemme tell ya what, yana bought only 2 things which was burberry handbag and watch,
and the total cost was... RM 3892, with cash. and... the 1st thing on my mind was,
"this is the 1st time i saw 4-digits-no at a small cashier and it was paid with cash"


her handbag was RM2700.


kalau dkt bank or somewhere else bigger tak terkejut sgt lah... ahah. and sis yana, i wanna tell u.
i love ur armani exchange handbag. and it was about RM600++? uhuuu... T___T

went to GSC, but 2012 and new moon was fully booked, so... we went to damansara.
yeah! finally, new moon at 420pm @ cinileisure damansara. and for the 1st time...
i ate ayam penyet, around 345pm. sis yana was hungry, and so, i shared those food with kma.
tp kan... mcm x kene penyet pon ayam tu? ahah... pas2, new moon lah! thee.


my opinion, edward is not a handsome guy, but, the best thing is -
the way he loves bella + his charisma. cheywahhh.
jacob is pretty beautiful. haha.


muka excited weyh, sampai kena sound dgn kma sbb tgk cite tu dgn muka2 n tgn2. haha.
u just don't know how do i look like ble over-excited. *tnye finaz. nora. shahli. afiq. dila. kma*
almost 2 hours later, we outta from that place and, sampai je setiawngsa, terus, keluar semula.

this time, wangsa walk. with auntie + kak long n kiddies too. and so... excited jmpe armani.
budak kecikkk berbaju oren! ahah. time ddk kiss2 armani, farouq hantar msg ckp nmpk sy.
tp tak pula ditegurnya. haha. x nmpk lah! org rabun. buekkk =P lain kali jerit jaa. haha.
pastu dinner lah ke pizza hut nearby. and yet, dpt lah rasa semlm rezeki makanan tu sgt bnyk.
even, no ketupat, no rendang or lemang, no nasi beriyani, nasi minyak or nasi dagang. huhu.
sampai rumah, mandi, tgk tv, and i slept around 1230++ am. so... tamatlah hari raya aidiladha. =]


Nov 25, 2009

dah lameee sgttt nak buat 12 perkara bawah ni


hari tu...
sy masak ayam masak lemak cili padi utk bday girl.
pastu, sy masak custard pudding rainbow2 sbb sy skee...

utk hari - hari yg sy selalu masak ni, menimbulkan pelbagai spekulasi.
terutamanya...

"dah boleh kahwin ni. dah minat belajar memasak tiba - tiba"

dang~ bukannye x reti. minat. tp malas. so, jarang - jarang lah! haha.
bakpe gak baru 20 kawin. gelenyaaa deh! haha. ambik ko bhsa timur.



btw. class minggu ni asyik cancel. terasa seronok plak. haha. ala. class ok je.
tp pas meeting mesti penink hey. haha. muke mule2 happy jaaa... pastu muke senget da.
naiya ajak kuar dgn yamin pon terpakse say NO sbb meeting. miss u girlsss so much!
final project yg semakin bertimbun + menghampiri dateline. grrrr~ final pun less than a month.
jap lg, mama ikut abah blk srwk. mama ajak blk skali raye haji, but i can't. kot~
abah sampai kl mlm semlm and jap lg abah da blk... sob3. less than 24 hours je! huwaaaa.
gile sdeyh plak aih. mcm 1st time je raye bnde2 x skali dgn mama n abah. uhuu...

tp xpe. duit dpt extra. haha. utk MAKAN ok. sumpah lame x shopping etc.
sbb 1 - x de mase nak shopping and x de mase nak hu-ha-hu-ha. kalau ade mase utk dicuri pon,
rase nak rehat manjang. nak spend quality time with fmly pun ssh. and guess what...
berat badan. oh dang dang! kalau nak dicompare, berat badan time sem 2-3 dgn skrng, sem 6,
adelah naik dlm 5-6kg. bongok. bnyk tuh! aishhh... haha. pastuh an. jerawat dkt dahi, dgn tibe2...
tumbuh mcm cendawan lepas hujan. seriously like sgt bnyk, kecik2, merah2, bnyk gilee!!!
i can guarantee lebeyh dr 20 biji jerawat dkt dahi skrng ni, in a week jeee... tp kecik2 n merah2.

boleh kate, every sunday morning sy d tasik ttwngsa skrng ni. aerobic! ho yeahhh.
seronok. seriouslyyy. lantak p la kalo x dpt catch up laju sgt pom, tp, enjoy. haha. last week.
salsa~! skeeeeeee. mmg skeee menari. and minat. tp x de bakat. and, nak blaja sgt3!
and then last week jgk, pergi UIA gombak. register english class. lalalala... ade bnyk category.
sy ambik - communicative english, every saturday. so, ke sanelahhh tiap sabtu.
rnduuu uia gombak, bnyk kenangan~ cheywahhh. tp sumpah harap sgt TAK TERJMPA sesape.
tak nak jmpe sejarah2 dlu pe sume nnt mule la duk sebak sorang2... haha.
and, x leh blaaa class tu siap ade test and exam. tammo lah! huwaaaa. redah je la.
start class this 5th dec. thee. debar plak rase. tah sape2 je 1 class nnt.

actually... dlm life sy ni kan. bnykkk sgt lg bnde sy teringin nak buat.
bnde ni dah lameee nak buat n tak dipengaruhi oleh ape2 / sesiapa ok!
meh sy list down bnde yg sy ingt time nieee je. thee

  1. belajar foreign language. mandarin, japan, arabic, france, etc.
  2. belajar dancing, esp traditional, salsa, hiphop, etc lah. minat! lame dah.
  3. terror memasak esp local and western foods. seriously maw blaja!
  4. sy nak g batu caves... haha. sbb x penah gi. tp mama n abah cam ckp x elok
  5. sy nakkk sgt gi round over the world esp - mekah, france, italy, japan, NY, HK.
  6. sy nak gi rock climbing yg real pnye plg koman pun dkt batu cave. (lagi...)
  7. sy dah lameee sgtttt nak gi rumah2 kebajikan, anak yatim, etc. hurm~
  8. sy nakkk sgt try makan dkt semua tmpt at least once in a lifetime. haha...
  9. dah lamaaa jgk nak naik helikopter sbb x penah dpt naik.
  10. music. sy slalu ckp music is my life kan. seriously it is. so, sy maw blajaaa!!!
  11. dah lama sy nak derma darah. tp tak pernah dapat derma lg. darah AB! thee.
  12. nak gi join ape2 group g melancong, i mean like with others yg kte x kenal. tp mcm under organization lah. such as kotex camp tuh, or something dkt remaja~
wawawa... bnyk lg nih. rumah sakit jiwa sy da penah gi. takot + sdeyh + kesian sume ade.
tak pelah. bnyk lg mase, insya allah sy blh buat semuaaa ni kan? sbb tu la...
kalo blh sy tammo kawin awal2! tammo aih.. bnyk bnde nak kene buat dlu. thee.
masak pun tak layak lg. menjahit? jauh panggang dr api. hahahahahahaha... agame.
lglah. kene benar2 kukuh utk jd isteri / mak berguna nih! =]]

oklah. tu je nak "bercakap tnpa noktah" sekian. =D


Nov 19, 2009

it's my life




dear friends, ex(s), histories, family, etc.

don't love me, like deeply, cuz u might get hurt at the end of d day.
don't make me love u, cuz once i love u, i always do.


i realize, and learned that, in life... some time.

i have to deal with things that i dislike, perhaps, hate.
i have to go with the flow, but i do, have to stand up 4 myself.
i can b the happiest person in front of others, but still ppl will think i'm weak.
i can smile slightly, but still they said it's fake. when the truth is, i'm not faking it.
quiet is the best way to tell that u r angry, mad.
i have to accept that, ppl dislike me, but still, a thousand of ppl love me.
i need to break my heart, rather than breaking others.
i have to forget bout my feeling, and respects others esp eldest.
i must learn to love myself, so that i can love others.

I’ve been living in this world for 20 years, and I should say, life is short and it is not as easy as A,B,C. But, I believe that we can make it easier. How we choose to live is what we are today. I was once, one of those people who decided to go with the flow. I am shy enough to speak up but deep in my heart, I know I can be the one who shout out loud in the crowd. I should’ve stand on my own and speak up about my opinion and perspective. And the good part is, I’ve change. It shows me more about being brave and confident in my life.

Freedom is what every people asking for in their life, and I am trying to use it wisely, because I don’t want to spend half of my life thinking about all the silly things I might have done. Life shows me there is no turning back. Life itself is getting harder as time goes by. It said, “luck ain’t even lucky, got to make your own breaks”. I won’t get lucky every day, so, I’m the one who made up my day and choose to have a good day, or bad day. I think of the pro and contra of every decision i have to make. And yet, so far, I can see that my life is better in every single day. I also believe that positive thinking is very important in making my life richer.

Being very fragile is not good either. Shouldn’t break and easily give up. God is fair enough. He wouldn’t test us with things that we couldn’t handle. It means that I just have to keep on being patience, and live my life to the fullest. There is no need to be afraid when I know, I did the right thing. I shouldn’t listen to others, who is breaking me down. But perhaps, I can take it as a positive criticism to be better. It’s my life and I did it my way, to be myself today.



but those 3 paragraph above, wasn't totally me. cuz, it was just a part of my essay for MCP -it's my life asssignment. i'm not that strong, but u should know, i did try my best to be strong enough. and... what i hate the most, when u're trying 2 b stronger than me, but the truth is u r wayyyy tooooo lost, pathetic and weaker than me. thank u.


Nov 17, 2009

nothing much


whee~ tah nape nak buat bunyi tu. rase nak keluar rumah skrng (10:17am) and pergi main 2 ekor kucing dkt luar rumah. mrka kucing jiran. tp jinak dah dgn sy. awww. syg sgt die org! eh. org plak. kucing kan. erm... die ekor! bulu pun cantik. manje. skeee larh! rase nak peluk2 nak cium2 tp x mampu lg sbb allergy nnt x larat lah. lgpun tgh pakai bju kelawar lg nih, mmg kene bambu je kuar umah. kucing 2 ekor ni slalu tman time org dkt dapur. die ekor ade luar tingkap. owh ye. sy rndu blog. rndu fb sumeee lah. tp internet sy super duper slow sampaikan last sunday sy gi on9 dkt starbucks. ingt sy rajin nak kuar umah? tp nak buat keje, gi la on9 jap. yes, super slow bby.

dah berhari - hari tdow around 12-1am, then bgn blk 6am onwards. buat keje. ni td baru habis buat script directing, tukar cite, so script pon baru. owh yeah! and the best part, hari ni x de class n meeting, SO FAR. haha. yer, sy x leh planning ape2 awal2 sbb schedule sy berubah - ubah in a blink of an eye. seriously. sbb tu slalu ape2 sy buat last minute plan n redah je. sbb x blh nak confirmedkan dgn sape2 awal2. it can b tibe2 ade class, or tibe2 ade meeting, or tibe2 sume cancel plak. ahah~ begitulah routine dlm world of media, broadcasting nnt. i've to be fully prepared la kan physically n mentally. even some time rase mcm whoaaaa.

org lain da start cuti an? bestnyeee. slmt bercuti! [gaya sizuka] haha. tah tetibe terlintas doraemon plak. cam x de motif je nulis blog ni. ade bnyk bnde tp biasela tataw nak cite or ckp mane sgt. as 4 2day, nak kuar ke duk umah? dah lame x hang out sane sini. tp... bkn senang nak rehat duk umah jgk. aishhh. tataw lg la. we'll c after this. btw, last sunday we went to ttwangsa. ade aerobic from 8am-930am. haha... mmg best lah! i was enjoying myself to the fullest. kma + kak sally yg kecik tu muka da pucat n leteyh2, blk rumah sakit badan. tu larh, badan kecik tp x sehat! x blh jgk kan. =P nasib baiklah sy still dpt menari dgn sukeee rieee bersame - same lemak itu. plg best ade lagu 60's, black eyed peas n x lupe hindustan. hahahaha.

ok. relationship. so far... dgn kwn2 ok. kot~ sape2 rase x ok dgn sy just confess and we'll see. study n college pun so far so good. fmly, ok la tuh~ even big fmly mmg full of drama. adatlah. mcm drama dkt tv but still happy. then, love? x de pape sgt eh. sy dgn ttm da ok. alhamdulilah kwn biase smule. dgn mr tenggiling, so far ok jgk rasenye kot. just sy bz bnyk skit. diri sdiri? jap ok jap tak. dgn tuhan. harap2 nye ok... wuuu. and and. i'm still the same. sape rase sy lain tu, maybe korang yg x bape kenal sy kot b4 nih. hurmm... busuk btol sy ni cpt rimas kan? yer. mmg cpt rimas. n malas skit nak reply2 msg. or call. or whatsoever.

bkn sombonk. it just, sy ni jenis kuat main + skeee lepak2 je. so time ble buat keje, sy btol3 buat keje. kalo de org TERkaco mesti x layan. n muka mesti x de perasaan. sbb sy jrng nak serious, so ble da buat tuh, sy buat la btol2. cam tgh buat keje pape time tu, camtula jdnye. erm. LOLA pun terabai. adehlaaa. sorry lola. salahkan internet connection d ground floor yg mmg lembap teramat sgt nih. eh. dah panjang la plak. dang~

btw. movies. baru2 ni gi beli dvd. 1 of it - death race. mmg cite tuh dah agak lame. tp seriouslyyy ske la cite tuh! ske amat. sy mmg bkn driver yg hebat lg best, sy biase2 and agak failed bab side parking, tp... sy skeee org yg hebat bwk kete laju2, tp cermat. fhm tak, die terror bwk laju tp kan die berhati - hati. so selamat lah! mmg enjoy larh. sy minat. so sbb tu sy skeee la cite2 action movies n racing nih. wuhuu~ nmpk je lembik gini tp salah org la. wawawa.

ok bloggie. thanks sbb biarkan sy syok sdiri. thee. maw bela hamster lah! tp x dpt perlepasan plak dr mama n abah sbb tkot sy allergy mcm kucing jgk. pastu mrka tkot hamster tu mati katenye. cett~


Nov 12, 2009

this is mineeeeeeee & few notes


yesterday, i had a meeting for Directing, which we decided to make a 2nd plan.
and, yeah, the meeting was full of blast and hilarious things. hahahahaha.
i laughed a lot. and, we had a break with kit kat. thanks 2 adilah masham for that.
and so, we did some reccee, and went to a few high-class restaurants.
and, i went to saloma bistro @ jln ampang 4 the 1st time. whoaaa. cantik! seriously.
then we met mr.manager, and... it was 2pm, perut pun dah berdondang syg.

sarah + feeqa blk terus. so, the rest of us went to KLCC. huu~ rnduuu KLCC!
haha. lame lah x kuar / jln. ape tah lg tgk movie or gi KLCC yg dkt gile dgn umah ni.
then, solat, and semua gi mkn. thee. kenyang perut skeee hati. haha.
pastuuu. gi watson, and body shop je. dla beli set japanese blossom die yg da abis.
and sy, tgk lg la set LOVE etc body shop yg sy skeeeeeee sgt tuh. ingt nak beli!
ingt nak beli 1 set - lotion, shower gel, lotion yg SELALU nye around RM150++.

sekali an... sekali an. tgk2 mmg harga limited edition. and perfume tu EDP. bkn EDT.
normally, perfume body shop biasa :
30ml = RM 48
50ml = RM 79
but. yg love etc nih kan kan kan...
30ml = RM 85
50ml = RM115
whoaaaa. lotion die pun 30ml = RM 55. hukkkk. sy duk pk. n pk pk. mahalnye~ mahalnye~ mahalnye~ tp...
sukenye~ sukenye~ sukenye~ tp...pk blk, limited edition. hurm. dahlah sampai termimpi - mimpi...

last - last sy beli jgkkk yg 50ml!!! haha. then buat muke 10sen.
habis dahhhh duit saving bulan nih. xpela. yg penting. akhirnye. dapat jgk.
duit sdiri. yerrr. hidup ni perlukan pengorbanan. so, bekorban je la. =P
lotion n shower gel? nnt kot. yg penting perfume. berbotol2 pun xpe!




and. ade bebape notes utk bebape org... if only lah kalian tahu~

babe. i miss u so much. sdeyhlah u jauh. entah. kalo x dlu senang je. pape trus call. entahlah. sorry sbb i bkn kwn yg baik. tak blh slalu ade utk u. tp ingtlah. i syg u. n slalu doa u kuatkan semangat. sbb i taw sgt u lg kuat dr ape yg u sangka. take care babe.

bintang hati. i miss u too. i miss the good part of u. i hate the coward + selfish side of u ={{

kacak. get well soon. class bnyk, exam nak dkt, final project bertimbun. moga awk cpt sehat. n, sorry jgk sbb sy bkn kwn yg baek. sbb diri n hati sy sdiri pon x terjage lg. sorry k. n sorry jgk if kdng sy cpt rimas. sy mmg camnih. erm. moga awk happy n bhgie je mcm slalu. take care~

and 2 awk. ye awk yg dlu gune nickname durrani. haha. tatawla awk bace blog kte lg tak. just. awk je yg taw duit raye kte bape exactly. so dgn perfume ni habis dah duit raye kte. hahahaha. and, jgn tension2 sgt dgn exam tuh. bnde dah lepas. nnt free bgtaw kte gi minum hazelnut coffee lg ok? thee. take care. =]]

and... till then.
hari ni kelas sampai 10pm '-__-


Nov 8, 2009

langkah kanan



ppl! thee. i woke up at 549am. and, solat. bgn2 tgk hp atas lantai bwh katil. mmg sian la hp kan. baru tukar housing da berkecai lg. sorry hp '-___- ok. then, i was so sleepy. so tdow blk til 825am. mandi a.s.a.p. and, so, we went to endah parade sri petaling 4 the bowling tournament. and guess what. mmg langkah kanan lah hari ni. 1st of all, thanks Allah. =]

we arrived around 9am. and. ok. 1st langkah kanan since we are 1 of those ppl yg sampai awal, we decided 2 have our breakfast dlu. there's a group of kak sally's officemate, and, we were sitting beside them. kma + kak sally ate nasi lemak with kerang, and i had a glass of ice lemon tea. and then. suddenly boss kak sally belanja breakfast tuh~ wheee. alhamdulilah. kma siap ckp "kalau taw ambik lauk udang, sotong, ayam sume" haha.

ok. and then, tgk mcm ramai je officemate kak sally. jd segan nak join! but suddenly ble boss yg panggil, huu, terpakse la buat muke senyum kambing. and, we were seperate into 10 groups - 3 of us in each group. 2 guys + 1 girl. i was in group 3, kma in group 4, n kak sally was in group 5. and and. well. we had 3 games, and guess what? most of them blh tahan hebat kot. grrr~ buat muke 10sen je lah ble rase diri x bape nak hebat. ahah. ok, i had great time. since most of them r friendly. and. here goes the 2nd langkah kanan -

i did well in the 1st n 2nd round. but then, the last round makin jatuh. haha. but the other 2 guys from my group did well in the last round. good improvement! and ok. i was surprised when the boss announced that we got no6 over 10. not bad. so dpt la hamper. whoaaa. best3. and and. langkah kanan 3 - for individual. but yar, i did a lot wayyyy better than yesterday. but, rase cam ramai lg terror. mcm terpinga - pinga ble boss tu panggil sbb dpt no 4/30. wawawawa. and the ppl keep calling me yuna. dang~ sejak ble yuna gemuk. haha. =P

and, after that, langkah kanan 4 - habis sume tuh. mrka ajak lunch. they decided to eat at KFC. and yup, fully paid by the contractor. whoaaa. seronok hey! and the choc cake was superb. thanks kak sally's officemates! =D

almost 3pm, we were home and yar, i'm satisfied. and yes, not to 4get. 4 individual, sy dpt cash. taw3? hamper dpt. cash dpt. thee. excited! alhamdulilah. lucky me aite. rezeki. wink wink. semuanya. berkat doa korang! thanks taw! thank u so much.

and u. jgn bomohkan i taw. haha. memain je. u. cptlarh. i tnggu u sediakan sume mknan yg i nak tuh. haha. =P


Nov 6, 2009

u know i love rainbow




monday - tuesday.
went to lumut, perak. whoaaa. rase cam heaven je dpt tgk pantai. pantai!!!
even just for a day. dang~ i need a vacation mama + abah! uhuu~
dah few times sampai sini. tp, yup, small town, but i like it. peaceful enough.
tgk swimming pool. lamenye x swimming. tp trime kasih je la kan.
sbb nmpk la ade board 'strictly swimming attire' mmg hampeh la T_T

and mlm selasa tu, gi JJ AU ni with kma + kak sally. kwn kak sally, mintak tlg.
tlg belikan teddy bear 4 his gf. funny aite? then. x jmpe yg cambest. so. kma ajak g karok.
grr~ i'm not a karok maniac. tp layan je la. sejak 2 menjak ni ske nyanyi. wahaha.
and, there we go, 1 hour. sempat la sy nyanyi 4 lagu. trust me, itu ajaib. haha.
and the funniest part, keluar je dr karok, tgk hujan lebat gile dkt luar JJ.
we were laughing like... idk. like monkey. HAHAHAHAHAHA. gilo larh~
so i went to watson's, n big apple since mama nak big apple duran duran~ yummy.

and. suddenly. i stopped by - the body shop. and. i SAW and SMELL a...

LOVE ETC from body shop

OMG. i want this so badlyyyyyyyyy.
it was tuesday right? and it's friday now.
and belive me when i said i-think-bout it all the time.
1st reason - sbb die rainbow!!! OMG... grrrr~
2nd -cuz it smells good. alaaaaaa.

siap tnye salesgirl die lg.
"excuse me is't a new product, or limited edition"
and she said, "well it depends on the management & market"

DANGGGG. duit dahlah tgk kering. whoaaa.
1 set for sure hundred ++. hukkk. tlg blh tak?

tlg DOA je sy akan dpt jgk set ni. DOA je. thanks =]]


wednesday-thursday
no class. jap. yup, x de. kot. eh menipu larh! de MCP. ptg-lewat ptg.
MCP was great, so far. En zul sgt ok, so far. nnt shooting nnt, tataw la. thee.

and the next day, which was thurday, full of meeting. VG2 + BJ
VG2, jeng jeng. terpilih jd PA for this week pnye shooting. PA ingt senang?
wahaha. ssh taw. sbb kene scream out loud, and, jage timing btol2. whoaa.
it's ok. i'm trying to train myself to say 'YES' to everything. yes! hee.
and, BJ, seronok. haha. reccee, jalan2 around setiawngsa, keramat, kemensah.
then ambik shot2 utk VT utk shooting BJ nnt.


friday
BJ only. td jd news presenter. bace both tv news + radio news. awww. best.
i mean like, ye larh, mule2 cuak jgk. tp x berdebar plak td. pelik~
last2 senyum je dpn lects, and, bace dgn lancar. alhamdulilah. lucky enough~


overall this week. i should say. erm, ade upside down.
ade bnyk bnde best + happy. tp ade jgk yg sdeyh, plus pilu. huhu.
tp, life. full of drama aite? it's ok. everything happened 4 a reason.

owh ye. lame sy x upload pixca dkt blog kan? sbb.
memory card Mr.cybershot tu senget. sume gmbr hilang.
majuk da dgn die! wawawa. nak gi klcc. nak beli memory card je.
pon x smpt2. tgk movie? ape tah lg. hoho. ok larh.
sape2 tgh final tuh. best of luck =]]







Nov 3, 2009

kelemahan plus few funny things



ok. kte ckp ttg kelemahan dlu ek? ahah... tulis post ni secara spontan. ade bnde jd td, n 'pap' terus on blog. aqilah... owh aqilah. nape fragile sgt? tak. mane ade fragile sgt. sy dah ckup kuat utk pendam semua bnde sorang. cuma kdng kala, 'kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga'

lately. kalau mengalir setitik dua air mata, trust me, it's only because pk ttg salah2 lepas + study je. study, yeah, some times pressure dgn assignment, final project, and so on. tp, sy x cpt gelabah. kalau muka tegang, sekejap je. lepas tu, gelak ketawa mcm biase. nak x nak, life goes on.

1 bnde. yg sy tataw sape je yg taw. yes sy lupe sape yg taw. sy maybe akan share bnyk bnde dgn bnyk org, tp jgn lupe jgk, sy jgk simpan bnyk bnde dgn bnyk org. kenapa sy blh tahan org buat itu ini? maafkan, kwn mcm biasa pdhal org lain, kwn2 rapat terutamanya memaki hamun org yg sy maafkan itu? kenapa sy menangis di wkt sy x
perlu? 1 - pendam.

owh ye. talking bout such a crying bby. 1 thing u ppl should know. menangis tu x semestinye sedeyh. menangis tu x semestinye kecewa. sy? kalau sy terlalu marah, sy menangis. esp bila sy x mampu nak mrh org yg buat sy mrh tu. maka, sy menangis. bila sy rndu sgt seseorg / memori, sy xkan bgtaw org tu terus, tahan selagi sy mampu, tp sy menangis jgk sbb terlalu rndu. menangis. x semestinya lemah. tak cukup kuat kalau manusia tu pendam semua bnda duka, amarah, menyedihkan dan luahkan dgn menangis seorg. x cukup kuat lg? dont judge ppl with the simplest thing like this.

sy. dlu. dlu lepas spm mmg sy hari2 menangis. sbb, kesunyian yg teramat, rase kehilangan teramat. tp kehilangan itu yg ajar sy ttg hidup. tp itu dlu. sy dah 20 kini. jgn samekan sy dgn budak manja asyik nangis tu lagi. bodoh la kalau judge sy mcm tu lg! i'm not that spoiled. jgn ingt bnde yg sdeyh skit je, akan buat sy nangis. kirim salam.

bila sy pendam. dan pendam. dr bnda sekecik - kecik alam. hingga ke sebesar - besar alam, 1 hari. ia akan meletup. meletup dgn bnda kecil je. yer baru 20 hari sy tinggalkan TTM. tp ingt, sy hanya menangis pd 15th oct 2009. sikit pun sy x menangis lepas tu utk hari ke-2 hingga hari ni. sdngkan ingt senang utk lupekan mcm mane akrabnye? setahun. selalu jmpa. mcm2 kenangan. buat sy gelak. sdeyh. hurm... bnda x elok sy x ingt. bnda yg manis tu sy simpan.

sy blh pendam sume bnde x best. blh. tp, kdg2 sy akan explode jgk. sy akan sdeyh jgk. bnde kecik je blh jd penyebab die. then habis sume bnde sdeyh yg sy simpan, memori pe sume, dtg satu - persatu mcm wyng gmbr yg tak pernah habis. hoho... then mula lah air mata jd cam air terjun. yesss, sy camtuh. jd kalau nnt 1 hari. TERnmpk sy nangis x henti2 utk bnde yg kecik, percayelah, bkn bnde kecik tu yg buat sy nangis. tp sbb sy ingt habis SEMUA bnde yg sy simpan tuh. jd, mcm kumpulan air mata lame tuh terus turun mebuak - buak time tu. hoho... XD

tp alhamdulilah. dah lame sgt3 sy x nangis camtu. eh menipu. ha last yg time lepaskan TTM tu la. b4 that n after that, so far, x de. sykur jgklah hati makin kering. 1 other thing we should remember, mark in ur mind, when there's no one left who can save u from breaking apart, save urself. take a very3 good care of ur heart. u have to. well, yup, td just menitis 2 titik air mate, so lahirlah post nih. sbb ape? sbb sy ni cpt syg org. syg org sebagai sesame makhluk tuhan ye.



ok. we talked bout all the funny things. tp tataw la kalo org lain rase x lawak.
sy kan mmg ske ketaweee kan. so. bnde kecik pon. jd lawak.



lawak 1 - raya pertama 2009. oleh ; mama ngah
mama ngah ; eh. elok2 skit. dlm kereta mama tu bnyk 'pingat'.
me ; pingat ape?
mama ngah ; eh. bukan pingat. 'pengat'!
faris ; pengat pisang mane plak ni?
me ; mama ngah. pijat eh? wahahahahhaha.
mama ngah ; haaaaaa. pijat~



lawak 2 - few weeks ago. oleh ; teh + mama ngah
di madam lim's jj wkt nak order mknan.

teh ; adik. ayam goreng ni 3 'pisis' eh?
me ; haaaa..? [muka blur2]
kma ; mama. 3 pieces lah.
me ; wahahaha. teh. nape x ckp 3 spesies je?
kma + me ; whahahhaah... [kuat gile weyhhh]


mama ngah ; eh. takde ke 'sel' ke?
me ; sel ape mama ngah?
mama ngah ; sel lah. dkt jj ni. x de ke?
kma ; sale eh mama ngah?
mama ngah ; haa... sale. salah ckp.
me + kma ; ngee.. bahaahhaah... ade2! [pegang perut]


lawak 3 - few weeks ago. oleh ; aisyah
dlm kereta. mulot duk cot cet sane sini. x reti diam.

aisyah ; kak qila. kak qila taw x. hari tu acik kan. die bwk kete laju.
me ; pastuh?
aisyah ; nak langgar pokok dah.
me ; ye ke kma? [sambil pndng kma tgh drive]
aisyah ; ye kak qila. pastu acik 'break terkejut' habis aisyah ngan mama semua 'mengejut'
me + kma ; HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. terbalik la aisyah!


aisyah ; hari tu kak cik nak langgar pokok lg.
me ; pastuhhh?
aisyah ; pastuhh nasib baik pokok tu 'mengelak'
me ; BAHAHAHAHHAA... takotnye pokok tu dgn acik. sampai blh lari mengelak.
kma ; wahahahah.. .terbalik lg la syg.


To Mr. Tenggiling. hurm.. 'i dont judge ppl. only god judge ppl. and i dont wanna play god.'
aku tibe2 speaking an dgn ko dr td lelklok BM? sorry. tu tande aku mrh / trase.
tp. mcm aku penah ckp. aku x reti nak mrh lelame. n aku x reti nak majuk.
so. ko xyahlah tkot pape. just. kdng2 penat la weyh... sbb. itulah. ade masenye.
aku fragile. tu je. i know i'm complicated. give up, if ko x sanggup. sorry.



p/s ; semlm and kelmarin mimpi mengarut.
safwa. if only u reas this. i dream bout u last nite.
that we met. and, yar, we met face2face.

kelmarin. mimpi. afiq. akid. ainaa K. whoaaa.
ainaa majuk dgn 3 org ni. [including me.]
jd sy, afiq, akid, shopping mcm2 utk die.
tah. ngarot2. belaka. wahaha XD