Jul 10, 2009

mama tetap mama

i'm having a... a... hetic. tiring. bz. emotional day, these few days.
nanti cerita. [nanti2... tah bape bnyk post tertunda la. uhu]
okay. as for today. i woke up as early as i can, and i helped him.
yeah. i tried to finish up his work 4 this whole day. and i stopped at 4 something.
i went to class, SCP from 5pm - 10pm. dinner & arrived home at 1030pm.

and then, he called. he made a joke, which is...at the wrong time.
and, we almost fight. but, i tried not to~
then i smsed him, saying sorry. and so did he.
but, i cant take it anymore. i went into my room, put all my stuff aside.
and went to my mum's room. and i cried...and cried...and cried.

i began to talk. and told her a lil bit bout those things.
and unfortunately, i told her almost alllll those things that i guess, she shouldn't know.
she might hates him for all those things. but i cant stop.
my tears keep flowing as i talk. i've told her, almost everything bout his bad side.
i've told her all those things that i've been hiding all this while.

yup, i've never told her the unhappy side / part of us.
and yet. this is the first time. hurmmm...
i always do keep it to myself. and there's only a few numbers of friends,
who know bout the unhappy part. and yar... they hate him 4 that.
and, i know mama will too, if she heard all these...
and she did, just now. hurmmm...

but yar, that's only a few... there's too much i've been hiding bout these 9 months.
owh yar... it's 9 months already babeh~! i never thought i can make it this far...
gosh. i dont want ppl to hate him... hurm. idk how to tell. to explain.
okay2. let's talk bout the funny part. i'll tell bout the sad part, later. kot~
act, while i was crying in front of mama, i saw her holding her hp...
but i'm not curios to know what she's doing. i never do. ahah~

but then...just now. after i took my bath, dinner, and a lil bit fine,
she said goodnite. yeah...she's sleeping right now. ahah~ but b4 that...
she told me, "syg... 1st love kirim salam. hurm. mama baru je suruh die rahsiakan.
jgn bgtaw qila mama contact die. tp... die suruh kirim salam dkt qila plak.
nnt kalau mama x sampaikan, berdosa plak."

i was like? aaaa??? i laughed...out loud~ and asked her. "what's up with my 1st love?"
and mama was like... "nothing3~! ok fine. i need a guy like ur 1st love in this situation.
he knows u better and u told me that he knows almost everything bout 'u n him'.
[yup... i did told my 1st love bout this guy. can never hide anything from him~ ]

me ; and???
mama : and i called abah to talk bout 'u n him' too.
me ; and???
mama ; and that's all. good nite~!

OMG mama...ahah... i'm sooo okay mama. still alive. and u msg my 1st love....
just to discuss bout this? ahah. u're lucky that ur menantu-tak-jadi tuh baik taw~!
kalo x...4 sure la qila yg kene BOOOOOOO. ahah. hurm...1st love?
he will always be mama's no 1 son-in-law. haha. owh mama. whatever makes u happy.
no worries. i'm justtt fine. hurmmm... well, i'll tell everything, more details, later. =P

right now, i've to finished up his work... urmmm~ i've been doing it the whole day.
bz nih~! ahah. till then. good nite, sweet dream, salam everyone. =]


ainaaamira. said...

qila oh qila.
hmm. so many things aku terlepas psl kamu.
hmmm. it's ok.
not everything that i should know.
as long as u happy...and i know it...already enough. :)

ur mama doing her best.
and her resort bout ur probs tu cool lah! hehe.

good night my dear. take care. salam~

ra|nbOw said...

ainaa. ahah. hurm...itulah. aku da makin bnyk, pendam cite x best, kot? wakakak. budget je. aku pun bnyk terlepas ttg ko~! huu... haha. mama xleh blaaa. should look at her innocent face. wakaka. take care 2 dear. wsalam =]

-azwanbakhtiar- said...

kalau mak aku buat camtu. insyaAllah aku hempuk kepala kat dinding.

kalau sakit sangat. hempuk kat tilam saja kot.

ra|nbOw said...

wakakaka. kenapakah? ishhh. malu jgk aku. tp buat2 tataw. haha XD

eyann said...

eheh. chill qilah :)
sometimes crying is the best way.
but then, we also need someone to listen what we're suffering inside.

ur mum is the best mum.
luah je kot smua.
x pyh pendam2 sgt.
oh, n bout ur 1st love.
sgt sweet ok.

i'll pray 4 ya happiness qila.
no worries! :)

p/s : i'm NOT a blogger anymore. but i'll become 'pengomen tegar'. :P

ra|nbOw said...

eheh. suda chill baru tulis semlm. hee. entah? kdg2 cube utk berdiri di kaki sendiri sepneuhnye... mama? mmg sgt baik n istimewa. anak die je senget. haha. 1st love? ahah. it WAS the sweetest thing. ahah. thanks eyann~!

huuu. nape da stop blogging??? ={

pwincess barbie said...

kenapa lar ida selalu lambta taw psl ney..
qila saba k..
maybe dier pown ada problem kowt..
qila bertuah sbb ramai yg syg qila and ida rindu qilah yg dulu..
yg ada d samping ida setiap masa..
byk benda yg ida nak share ngn qila cm dulu taw..

ra|nbOw said...

lmbt taw pasal ape? sy x de pape cite yg baru pon...uhu. 9 bulan tuh bkn couple syg. 9 bulan tuh tempoh sy da kenal dgn die. hurm. die ade prob? sume sy ambik taw, dgn serius. yup, sy bersyukur sy bertuah. sy same je cam dlu khalida... cuma skrng sy amat sgt bz. minggu depan da final. ermmm. pape msg je...sy bace msg awk tu, maksudnye sy ade. no worries. take care =]

Anonymous said...

lucky to be you

you have such a wonderful mama in the whole wide world

n WOW !! demmmm i get jelous

p/s: saya agak malu ya nak share menda personal ngan family. just hide to myself waakakaaka

ra|nbOw said...

lucky? uhuh. i know i'm lucky.. alhamdulilah tp bnyk ujian jgk taw? sgt bnyk. tp yg x elok tuh, seblh2nye tammo cite dkt org. ahah. ermmm...semlm tercite the bad things pon sbb x tahan da. wuuu~ ={