Mar 12, 2009

just go with the flow

i guess it's been a while since i last wrote bout my private thingy~ etc love life. fmly. friends. n so on. i mean, if i did, i did it in a very general way. okay. i dont really want to write bout this but then, nak jgk!!! ske hati la. x ske xyah sebok ambik taw! haha. 2day, things get a lil bit complicated. i dunno. should i say i'm happy, sad or just okay. but i'm okay rite now. since it's already PAST. can do nothing bout it. have to be strong. oh yes i am. getting better n stronger since 18th feb 2009. almost a month eh? haha. i did it well!!! clap 4 myself! wheee~~~ as u ppl know, i'm 20 this year. but i admit, i did a lot of stupid things in life. if i could turn back time, of course i'll change a lot of things. but then, cam x best plak kalo life terlampau perfect dgn ape yg kte nak kan? hurm. as i live in this world 4 20 years. i admit i met a lottttt of guys. no no. a lottt of jantan n a few guys. they come n go. thats life.

owh kenangan terindah, KT. others might say, they met their 1st love by the age of 20 n above. okay, i met my 1st love by the age of 14. young huh? ya ya. i know. 2 little 2 fall in love with the right guy. but it's true. thats my destiny. i just wanna tell a lil bit bout him here. since i guess i've to write a special post bout him, later. haha. he's the greatest guy i've ever met. he's 2 good 2 b true. he's thinner than me. yerrr. sy slalu complain bile sy dgn die. sy ckp sy malu sbb sy gemuk dr die n so on. he's so small!!! nasib baik die tnggi skit dr sy taw. but u know. die x pernah kesah pon sume tuh. x pernah pon sruh sy diet ke ape! he's so damn nice!!! owhhh. we were both 14 and we broke up when we were 17. almost 3 years. y we broke up? x de jodoh kot. at 1st i'm the one yg mintak break. i've my own acceptable reason. we're still good until he met his new gf, N. he broke up with N last year. then he met B. n he's still with B til now. i met B once. n i can c, she lovessss him so much! i'm glad 2 c that. eheh. okay2. da pnjng lebar plak. just wanna mention here, he's my 1st love. he's nice, good, patience, smart. my mum's love him so much. he sacrificed everything 4 d 1 he loves. he knows me well. yes he is, more than any1 else. he's nice n still look after me silently. i know, he's still care. cuz i know him very well too. =] thanks awk!

BH. bintang hati. yg dirindui. ye, sy ngaku sy rindu die. we met when we were 18. i dunno, the 1st time we met, i'm comfortable enough with him. he's the 1st guy yg sy trime to b my special accompany after i broke up with my 1st love. that's 1year n 9months after sy single mingle [that's d longest so far!] he's a good looking, down to earth, genius and really3 focus on his study. high of sense of humour. when we were friend, i thought he already had a gf. i mean, with his handsome look n attitude, he should have one. [he's d perfect n my dream guy type]. n i never ever dream about 2 b his gf. seriously~~~ but it last only for 6 months. and yup, sy jgk minx break. got my own reason 2. shouldnt mention bout d bad past time aite? sedihkan diri je. haha. i told him, it b better if kte jd kwn. he agreed. but i can c his eyes. there's a lil sadness when i asked him, we better off this way. tp...rasenye. kami la pasangan plg sempoi kot. pas break tuh, blh terus borak cam biase. jln2 tgk baju n beg, n mkn. LOL as usual. haha~~~ then. we say goodbye 17th june 2008. august 2008, he went to indonesia. medic. he really3 wants to be a dentist. n fyi, gigi die mmg lawa. ske tgk. haha. 5 years huh? erm. u know i always pray d best 4 u. glad that we still keep in touch. n glad that we're getting closer lately. =))

TTM, haha. erm,kami makin rapat bout almost 6 months ago. jap je mase berlalu. he's a used-2-b player. stubborn, nice talker. pelupa. x punctual. kedekot. take everything easy. n mcm2 la utk kutok awk! haha. =P erm. 1 of my close friend said, "die ni la kwn laki ko yg plg bermasalah setakat nih." haha. yer. tp tataw cmne sy leh tahan. maybe i can c the good sight of him. at 1st, mmg anti gile die. sbb die playboy. obviously yesss~ then asal jmpe je mesti lmbt! ishhh. he knows i hate waiting but he'll do d same mistake over n over again. wawawa... die bknlah kedekot sgt, die sgt boros utk diri die tp dgn org lain die berkire. haha. whats d good thing? well. we love 2 LOL. n he changes slowly. yess, selepas sy membebel + nasihat + pukul2 + slow talk + hard talk =P + and listened 2 his story. and y i didn't just leave him? bcuz i know he needs me. i mean. his life would b lg lintang pukang mcm b4 if sy x de! sy try utk ubah die to b a better grown up guy. sometimes he just too naive. somebody really3 need 2 change him. his friends told me, he's stubborn. lot of ppl dislike him cuz he always give so many excuses and sgt3 x punctual. yup. i know that. but ppl plz, let me be with him as long as i can handle it. i know i've sacrifice a lot, thats what others said. just. i dunno. i still can take it. and, u know. he's a nice friend. just. yup. a lotttt of bad attitude 2 b fix up!

and DA BEGINNING OF THE STORY. hahahahaha...
penat dah bace? stop je! hee. n now. just bout 2 of them.

Sy msg dgn BH. since BH, rite now, da berade d indonesia suda. sy msg die 4 da last time. msg2, lebeyh kurang mcm ni sy ckp;

i sent to BH
"i just wanna know. do u still love me? sorry sbb straight 4ward. i just wanna know"

BH replied [no editing]
hmm.. mmg nk jwb soklan 2.. tp i really2 knfius.. n bg BH, xnk brpkr psl 2.. im so sori.. tp yg pasti BH gmbra skrg ngn hbgn kter rite nw n xnk mnggugat our frenshp.. mngkn yg 2 yg mmpu BH lakukan sbb BH bkn lelaki yg brani.. im so sori"

then i started 2 cry... i dunno y! but i'm sensitive 2day cuz it's SPM result's day. owhhh. FYI, sy mmg sensitive hari result spm kuar. cuz sy dissapointed dgn result spm sy. so every year time result SPM kuar, sy akan rase semcm n nangisss sbb terkilan. EVERY YEAR ppl. sy taw sy pelik~ haha.

at the n of d day, 2day.
sy dgn BH, still kwn mcm biase. kami teruskan "just go with da flow"
erm. x perlah. sy taw die perlu kejar cita2 die...

once i said 'i love u', i mean 4ever. sy akan syg. sampai bile2. sy akan jage kalian dr jauh. even time tu mungkin x seperti dulu. tak salah sy rindu kenangan sy. sy taw batasan sy. sy hormat life org lain jgk. well. that's d end 4 2day! dont wanna talk or think bout it act. sy KAWANNN dgn mereka bertiga dan biarlah masa yg tentukan. ALLAH. aturkan yg terbaik utk hamba-Mu ini~~~ =]

1st couple, x semestinye 1st love. 1st love. x semestinye true love.
true love. x semestinye, 4ever...


Anonymous said...

ku fikir ku sorg jer yg complicated..
rupenye ada gang larrr..
again dear sis, chill and just go with the flow~

xoxo :)

ra|nbOw said...

hee. nih baru cite skit. kalo cite pnjng2...da jd tesis lak kang~ wakaka. sis lynee... thanks 4 ur support!!! =]

Nurul Hana Zakariah said...

stuju ngn lynie vanilly!!~
kamu sguh complicated!!

ruzannashazni said...

haha. ure a lucky girl ok?
uve been loved by 3 guys! haha.

xkisah la dgn siape-siape,
yg penting kite loyal n honest enough. :):)

semoga berbahagia yah! :):)

ra|nbOw said...

hee. sis hana~~~ ye ke? complicated? wawawa. tah org ke bape ckp kte mcm tuh!!!

hik3. lucky? ermmm. at d bright side, ye kot. eheh. thanksss!!! semoga berbahgie jgk! XD

ayong said...

Wah!c0mplicted kn?sme la cm i n0w..grr..png gak nk handle my stpd0 feeling..better bzkn dr ngn 0ther stufz..lg best!n sng 4 sure..haha..btw,just g0 wit da fl0w 0keh!mari ikt air maw dear.

momo+nini said...

"ku bukan superstar
khayalan terkenal
ku hanyalah orang yang ingin dicintai"

moga qila tetap berbahagia sokmo, no matter what happens
18 February?
kenangan tetap indah buat dikenang-kenang

ra|nbOw said...

ayong! lmbtnye tdow. huhu. yup, mari kte tgk air tu ke mane... haha. erm. caiyokkk!!!

mai. btollah ayat tuh. mai pon moga bahgie.. =]

♥iqah♥ said...

sO sweet.
nth la , kte rse cm sweet sgt2 jew bnda nih.
kamu prlukn 3 guys in One time.
ktiga2 tuh smua sgt brmkna.
hmm , psl BH tuh , insyaallah ada jdOh tak ke mana kn.
tp kOrg still blh brhbung lg.
tuh yg pntg.
" bila kita kehilangan seseOrang baru kita sedar yang kita amat memerlukannya "

ra|nbOw said...

huhu. sweet? ermmm. =)) yup. i always do need them in a very different way. yup, kalo jodoh x ke mane... hurm~

t e h a said...

aiyoo qilah~

sgt complicated post kamuh nie~

neway, wish u all da best,
n find a perfect one dat really suit u~

.OhNora. said...

xde la panjang sgt sebagaimane kaw bercter thru hp malam td.

xmo komen ape2 coz semo da cakap semalam. hee.

tajuk itu ku amik utk d jadikan komen.

Just go with the flow.. :)

babylove said...

huu..sdy ble bc.
lbh krg tp ni la hakikat kehidupan
cm yg ko ckp juz go with da flow..
insyaAllah sme nye akn ok 1 hari nnt.

ra|nbOw said...

teha. complicated enuff kan? huhu. hee. u too. moga berbahgie dgn crush kamu XD

baeklah nora. tin ka yu.

hukkk. adeq. jgnla sdeyh2. aku ok. thankss =]

Sarah Syahira Shahruddin said...

just go with da flow. when talk about feeling, it is really complicated kan? hum. sumtymes, i do feel the same

ra|nbOw said...

eheh. yup. it is. =]

Anonymous said...

wah..byknya skandal.. hati2.. semoga jmp yg terbaik..hehe

ra|nbOw said...

hukkk. bkn skandal la!!! aiyooo. sume nye kawan buat mase nih. hurm. thanks anyway.

SyaHeeDaH Al-ImaN said...

i'm crying. dono why. haha.

Zaid said...

ak xde ke qilah?hahaha

ra|nbOw said...

alahai eeda. tammo nangis... zaid? haha. ko no 1. die org ni x de no. wakakaka XD